Saturday, November 21, 2009
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Or better yet.. what the fuck has happened to my fellow countrymen?
Government needs to be run like a business. When a business is failing, what does it do? Cuts back on spending, stops the bonuses, combine departments, downsize. Why doesn't the government downsize? How many interns do they need? How many assistants are necessary? Do they really need personalized stationary? Do the lights need to be on all the time? Does every person in the building need a copy of the bill? Cant they do it electronically?
Why not stop importing stuff and open the factories back up? Bring the jobs BACK to America and tell China and Japan, while we appreciate your cars, toys and domestic goods, we need to get Americans back on the job. If Americans have jobs, Americans will spend money. Then the other businesses will start turning a profit because we will be consuming more goods. They can afford their houses again, they can stop with the foreclosures and it will snowball from there.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
So much so that I am a dedicated follower of the Fabulous Food Show held a the IX Center in Cleveland every November.
I said a FOOD SHOW. Not a Star Trek convention, Craft Fair, Festival go-er...no no nothing cool like that. I am a fat girl traipsing around a convention center with TONS of other fat people to sample food, watch food being prepared, watch demonstrations on gadgets to make food preparation better, drink wine and spirits to enhance my food experience . There was even a light emitting teeth whitening booth offering 10 min sessions to remove the stains that said food and wine may cause.
The first year we went, we saw Alton Brown who is by far my favorite Food Network personality. He has a couple of shows, Good Eats and Feastin' on Asphalt I/II (and most recently Feastin' on Waves) as well as the host of Iron Chef. If you have not seen his show Good Eats, I promise you will not be disappointed. His knowledge of food is unmatched by even his holiness Emeril, his humor is on point and my S.O. is convinced he was a pothead in his early years.
The third year we saw Alton again. I told you he is my favorite. I sprang for the little bit more expensive seating (up to this point I only had bleacher seats) and got a floor seat. Not so good and Ill tell you why. I am not the tallest person in the world and when everyone stands, I cant see anything but the back of the people in front of me. Even when sitting, I have a hard time seeing the stage. As a matter of fact, I liked the bleacher seats better even though I was farther away, if only for the simple fact that I could see beyond the heads in front of me. Anywho, Alton was demonstrating chocolate taffy (his version of a tootsie roll) and was throwing samples out to the crowd. Of course, the really really good seats are the ones that got them. When he called for questions, no one came to the bleacher seats, when the roving camera was .. well roving.. no one came to the bleacher seats. I made a vow right then and there I would spring for the best seats if I was ever going to see Alton again.
This is for a local restaurant, that happens to be owned and operated by a former Cleveland Brown football player. Bubba was getting interviewed by a local television station as we were getting our samples. I didn't want to seem star struck so I didn't ask for a picture with the interviewer, but he is cutie on our local Fox 8 morning show. Oh and the sauce was pretty good, but a little on the vinegary side for me. S.O. liked the hot style the best.
This company is another locally owned business that sells a sweet blackened sauce, that is excellent on both chicken and beef. I bought 3 bottles as well as the dry rub version. Last year we only bought 2 and sure was missing it when we ran out. It is better than A1 or Heinz 57 (which is my fav but not anymore) on steak.
I am a total popcorn nutjob. I like it any way I can get it, whether it be cheese, caramel or butter and salt. When I was kid, I remember getting a fruity-flavored candied popcorn and low and behold, here it is. You know I bought some, but it didn't make it home. I ate the whole bag in the car!
This my secret to my most awesome food stuffs. This is Sorcerer Seasonings, a local company, who smokes their spices. Hickory smoked no less, so no matter what you cook, there is a touch of smokey bacon-y goodness. I bought it the first time we went to the show, and have used this booth in particular as an "excuse" to go back because I need to.. you know, stock up. Last year I tried the smoked paprika, which is my why paprikas is the best. Seriously, even Paula Deen ain't got nothin' on me when it comes to paprikas! (my picture didn't come out well, hence the ad pic, sorry)
This booth was all about sausage. Pork, chicken, beef... I cant even begin to describe what kind of smells were wafting from this little tiny booth. The lighter lookin' sausage is chicken, with spinach, roasted tomatoes and feta and oh my god it was delicious, so much so I bought some of that as well. And I don't even like feta cheese. At all. Not even a little bit. That along with an asiago and onion cheese spread (we bought at that booth too) thats going to go on a big ole honkin loaf of French bread and under the broiler. Totally yum. We will be having it for dinner on Sunday. Prolly add a mescaline salad with hard boiled eggs. Yummy!
There were so many booths of cookies, biscotti, and cookie dough!
Can you see how close I am to the stage? Oh my god it was AWESOME.. and he is just as cute in person...
These two are true Guy fans. Who would of thought TV cooks would be so popular people dress like them?
So that was my day. I seriously am already planning next year.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
But sometimes that fuck it attitude can be your downfall.
The Republican party said fuck it when they added Palin to the ticket. What in the world were they thinking? Ill tell ya what "Hey guys, Hillary was doing pretty good so lets get a female so all the uneducated women who would have voted for Hillary will now vote for McCain" Well guess what, women are no longer stuck in the kitchen you buncha ungrateful ass raping donkey fuckers. From what CNN is reporting today she doesn't know what countries are part of NAFTA. Does she know what NAFTA stands for? And by stand for I don't mean what it accomplishes.. I mean LITERALLY what it stands for???? I may not know what exactly was decided at the Geneva Convention, who the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom is, the colors of the Kenyan flag or why my panties get all wet when I hear a man speak with a New Zealand accent, but I DO know what NAFTA stands for. And this broad has already said she is considering running for president in 2012? The fuck it didn't work out so well now did it? Fuck Sarah Palin.
MTV. What the fuck happened since, oh I don't know, 1990? Sure some of the shows were kinda cool. Spring break and that comical game show revolving around music and artists... I think it was called Remote Control? OK I can handle that. I was getting a little older, had a baby and a husband, a household to maintain. I couldn't watch videos all night like I did in high school. But then....you went and did it. Road rules. What is with that garbage? MTV you are solely responsible for TV programmings equivalent of jumping the shark and you don't even play videos any more. If I want to see videos, I have to find MTV2 and my cable company keeps moving the channel anyway because MTV 2 sucks what my dog pukes on the kitchen floor. What the fuck is that shit? VH1 is no better. All they show are countdowns, Flava Flav and Who Wants to Sleep with the Next 80's has-been? Fuck both VH1 and MTV.
Cable TV. Cable was on my honorable mention list last week, but they have officially been upgraded. I have DVR. DVR is very handy. My S.O. plans out his entire week of viewing via the DVR box, things he likes to watch, things he might like to watch, and yes even shit he has no idea what it is about but god forbid he misses it. Fine. I get it. I can't even watch regular TV anymore, because I automatically try to fast forward every time a commercial comes on. So, lately it seems that when a show is recorded from 9 - 9 30, the network shows it from 8 59 to 9 31 and I miss the last minute. So what you say. Its just a minute. I say fuck you. I am missing the last joke of the show on My Name is Earl, the last tidbit of information on Good Eats and the "where are they now" segment of Snapped. If it wasn't for the simple fact that I have come to loathe live TV I would cancel DVR right now. And of course I forget to adjust my record time, so I STILL miss the final little bit on every freaking show I like. Seriously FUCK cable TV.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
The zombies have found me. And now they are stalking me.
ANYWAY... Friday was Halloween. I was totally disappointed with it.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Ok, you say, that's not so bad. Exactly 22 minutes after said alarm goes off, I experienced an intense cramp. In my leg. Fuckity fuck a charlie horse. I haven't had a charlie horse in prolly 15 years. So my half awake, kinda stumblin like I'm drunk ass is pacing the bedroom trying to work out the kink in my lower limb. And it works. For all of 35 seconds. The instant I laid my head on the pillow, it hits again. AGAIN. I fling the covers off and again start pacing around the bedroom.
Again you say, that's still not so bad. Whatever. Loki has been watching me the whole time, as a matter of fact, when the alarm went off at 6 15 he came into the bedroom, curled up at the bottom of the bed, and waited for me to get up and into the shower. This way he can gank the warm spot I leave behind before the other dog gets it. ANYWHO, Loki is watching me walk back and forth around the bed, into the bathroom, and back around the bed trying to ease my screaming muscle ok? Well little dog must think I'm actually getting up because he goes and gets his "little buddy" and drops it on the bed. He wants to play fetch. At 6 51 am. On a Saturday.
My day is going to suck.
I decided to get up. Like always, I put on CNN Headline news while I go about my morning. Getting dressed, brushing my hair and teeth, things of that nature, and I listen to whats going on in the world. CNN doesn't have the biased, twisted standpoints like Fox News, and CNN doesn't have nearly as much silly stories as your local morning TV news shows have.
I know, get the point already.
CNN was talking about the presidential candidates (go fig), and how there are still like 35% of the population that says they are undecided. I'm one of them. Well kinda sorta but not really. I want to vote for myself (or someone like me). Really.
John McCain will not get my vote. Even if my choice was between him and a goat. And I hate goats. I do not agree with his choice for a VP, I do not like his stance on anything, and yes I truly believe that if he was elected, it would be no diff'rent than having W for another term. I think Palin is not right for the job but not because she is inexperienced. I think because she was thrust into this position by a party that is flailing. Miserably.
Barak Obama is more to my liking, but not really. In his speeches, I feel like he is a car salesman, and he should have one of those inflatable arm-flailing tube men behind him while he is screaming "Push it in, tow it in or drag it in. Ill give you 4000.00 for your trade no matter what!! Get down here before 6 and Ill get you in a new car TODAY". Sure he is charming, elegant, well spoken and well mannered, but..maybe just a little TOO much so.
Vickie would be perfect.
I am like everyone else. I don't pretend to be someone I'm not, and I sure as shit don't claim my moral character is better than anyone elses.
I have tried marijuana. I have slept with my landlord to pay the rent (and the computer repair guy too) and I'm not embarrassed to say so. I have lied. I have stolen. I had premarital sex, kinky in the alley kinda sex at that, I have used sex as a tool to manipulate. I have drank until I puked, driven under suspension, put the gas bill in the electric bill envelope and vice versa to get a few more days to pay before they cut me off. I have started fights for no reason other than I was pissed off about something I couldn't control and wanted to lash out. I have verbally abused cashiers and customer service reps. I have walked out of the grocery store, forgot to pay for the soda on the bottom of my cart, and NOT gone back in to pay for it. I am not ashamed. I have been divorced, filed bankruptcy and been in foreclosure. My credit rating is in the low 600's, I haven't paid a credit card bill in months, I don't own a car and I currently cohabitate with someone who is not my husband.
The person running against me would have a whole shitload of ammo for a negative campaign. And I guess that I would deserve it. The media would have a field day with all the skeletons they would pull outta my closets and ya know what? That's ok too. Most of that stuff I did years ago and have learned from my mistakes. Seriously, isnt that what life is about anyway?
That being said, why vote for me eh?
I would pull the military out of the middle east. Right now. And take the oil with me. Lets say we are... pirates. Pirate A "invades" your ship. He takes what he wants and leaves. A pirate doesn't invade any ship unless 1) he knows he can win and 2) he gets something for his trouble ie; OIL. America is a pirate. We have proved our point, now take what we want and LEAVE. They don't want us there. Why fight for a country that hates us? Pirates don't care about bragging rights. "Oh we beat Iraq everyone. Go Team." The American people don't care about bragging rights. We want oil so this wont happen again. Remember the 70's?
Abortion is a choice. Plain and simple. If you don't want to have one, great. But don't tell me I cant. Fuck you. I deal with the consequences. Not you. And it should be covered by insurance.
And speaking of health care. It should be for everyone. Period. And that's all I got to say about that.
If an elected official does not show up for senate debates, or committee meetings or whatever else said elected official is supposed to do, he/she should be fired. They can have 80 hours vacation, 40 sick and 40 personal like most normal jobs. There is a campaign ad going around my community that said a certain elected official has not been to a committee meeting in 2 years. 2 fuckin years. And the one meeting he went to, it was to give himself a raise. A nine THOUSAND dollar raise. What would happen if you didn't go to work for 2 years? Hmmm?
I would not spend 60 million dollars to campaign for a job that only pays 400,000 a year. I would take said 60 million and set up a fund for those people who are in foreclosure right now. Bail out the families that are losing their homes.
Welfare is a helping hand, not a lifestyle. My county DHS not only helps with food and cash, but new appliances, gasoline cards, pay for college and/or job training, fix your furnace, weatherize your home, pay your rent, and will not charge you for day care. There are some communities that will give you a new house. A NEW HOUSE. With little or no interest. All because someone didn't know how to use a condom. No wonder welfare is a hard cycle to break. I say give MORE to the parents who are working, help those that are helping themselves.
The president is a leader, not God. I dont expect my president to know everything about everything. Thats what cabinet members are for. Get the right people in place to fix the problems. Is that so hard?
If I was president, that is exactly what I would do.
Friday, October 24, 2008
A. Lot. Especially anonymously. Online.
And when I read some of my favorite-ist blogs *waves to LOTD and Princess Pi* I realize that Im not the only one. At some point, even some of the political blogs I enjoy throw in a personal jibjab at someone and/or something that has been long ignored, some injustice that has not been rectified. Religion and its zealots, parents and their evil spawn, teenagers, fast food, tv ads and even our bosses are fair game. I have read blogs about the stupidity of the general population, the latest and most awesome trends, video games, books, card collecting, coupon cutting, crafting, cooking, cake decorating and yes, even knitting. KNITTING for christmas-sake. I have never knitted a effin' thing in my entire life, but I still read it. Everyday even, and only for the simple fact that the author is well-written, knowledgeable and absolutely hilarious.
Seeing that this blog says "All Things Bitchin'" I figured I better start.
Bitchin' that is.
Hummers. Hummers piss me off. And not the "on your knees" hummer either. Im talking about the big, boxy, 2 parking space takin, I cant see over the windshield, gas guzzlin kind. Really GI Joe? Do you need what is essentially a military assault vehicle to do your grocery shopping? Add a turret and a camo paint job and you got SIR YES SIR all the way. Dude, you live in the CITY. There is no jungle to traverse thru to make it to yonder destination 2 clicks north. I promise while it may not make up for the fact your penis is 3 inches long and about as thick as a chopstick, a Focus will be fine, just fine. Fuck hummers.
Disney. Disney used to be the shizzy yo. Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast, Lion King. Excellent. I am 37 years old, and I still put on my Aladdin DVD while I clean the house just so I can sing along. I bought not one but TWO copies of the Lion King soundtrack as well as Beauty and the Beast along with all its sequels in a box set. For myself. But what has since happened? Everything is High School Musical or Hannah Montana. Eww. Do you mean to tell me that with all the money that flows through that company, as well as the clearly superior talent that works there, they cannot come up with anything better than Hannah Monfuckintana? I hope that the era for well-made cartoon movies has not passed. I hate to think the "golden age" of cartoon movies has made way for the clearly less superior The Simpson's Movie and the albeit funny as shit South Park movie, but c'mon South Park is no Disney. Fuck Disney.
Saturday cartoons. What the fuck happened with that shit? Saturday morning used to be about Looney Tunes and Scooby Doo, SpiderMan and X Men. I even liked Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for christ sakes. Now we got the New Batman? WTF?? No Bugs, no Daffy, no Sylvester and no Yosemite Sam. What is this world coming to? I watched the networks replace Bugs with Yu Gi Oh. YU GI OH. Get the fuck outta here. What is this shit? I tolerated Saved by the Bell because even tho he was jail bait, Mario Lopez was delicious to look at and it was funny. Like Three's Company funny. I remember grabbing a box of cereal, the gallon of milk, my bowl and spoon, eat like 1/2 a box and totally veg from 8 am til noon when the news came on. That was awesome. Now we get nothing. The powers that be have slowly gotten rid of Saturday cartoons all together. Check it out sometime. Our kids are getting jipped and its a shame. A damn shame. No more Wile E Coyote. Fuck Saturday cartoons.
Honorable mention for today's Fucket List:
Taxes. Fuck em.
Used cars. Fuck em.
NSF fees. Fuck em.
Spongebob Squarepants. Fuck him in his neck.
Movie channels. Fuck em.
Smokers who cant afford their habit. Fuck em. All day long.