Holla peeps

What's a-goin' on?

I have been totally uber-busy with life in general and have kinda sorta neglected my web duties. My neopet is dying, my Texas hold 'em team is losing and my myspace friends think I'm a recluse. Good thing I am not 'cyber-married' because I would be in the cyber-divorce court as we speak, chatting about how we are going to divide our cyber-belongings and visitation with the cyber-children. You laugh but I speak the truth.

Really.

I have been absorbed with my ongoing love affair with food. Any kind, any flavor, any texture. My name is the first one on the list for the potlucks, family get togethers and bar-b-ques. I always bite off more than I can chew (literally and figuratively..wow that works on 2 levels.. rock on) but always come out smelling like _______ (insert your favorite yummy goodness; ie bacon). Thanksgiving is always at my house, as is Christmas dinner, Easter brunch, Halloween spookfests, teen age sleepovers, the Annual Amateur Porn Review Classic and all the summer bar-b-ques are catered by moi.

Every year.

No exception.

I make a mean spread yo. Momma ain't fat for no reason.

That being said, there was a sign up sheet for a potluck at work, and OH MY GAWD they asked for cupcakes.

A potluck sign up sheet to me is like a port a potty to George Michael.

Irresistible. And no matter how many times I am told to leave it alone.. I cant quit it.

The cupcakes consumed me like an all encompassing swarm of bees buzzing around in my brain. I dreamt about these cupcakes. I doodled these cupcakes, spent hours searching google for just the right picture, and bought every magazine I could get my hands on with Halloween themed treats HOPING to find just the right one.

I found them.

Yes them. I couldn't decide on just one type. Pshaw you mere mortal!! I am Vickie. I am not happy unless I have not only volunteered to make a dish, but several dishes. And dessert. And bring the drinks. And decorate. Send e-mails to all involved, coordinate the buffet table and clean up the mess. Maybe I should be a caterer? This way I can control it all.

Everything.

Under my control. *wringing hands sinisterly*

I wonder if there is a disease or condition I suffer from? Obsessive perhaps? I'm not sure, that is a google search for another day.

So my beloved offspring said she would help, and this is what we came up with.

The spider is devil's food and the ghost is red velvet. Ain't they freakin cute??



The icing on the spiders took an entire bottle of icing color. Not quite as thin as normal egg food coloring, but way intense. It stains everything it comes into contact with, whether it be clothes, my kitchen table, your teeth or your skin.

This started out because she got some icing on her finger. When she realized how dark it turned her tongue, she then decided to drop a rather large dollop in her mouth. You can't tell from the picture, but it turned her teeth and gums a horrendous gray-ish mottled color.

The next batch of cupcakes were the red velvet ones, and as she was licking the beaters, the bowl and the spatula, she noticed her tongue was turning red too.

Here is close up of just the ghost. At the potluck I put up a sign that said "BEWARE SPIDERS WILL STAIN YOUR TEETH YOUR CLOTHES AND ANYTHING ELSE IT TOUCHES YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED" because I didn't want anyone bitchin' at me if they spilled icing and it stained their clothes, or if they had gray teeth the rest of the day. I think it scared everyone because no one wanted to eat them, every single person wanted to take them home.

Now all of a sudden, like 6 people came up to me and said "Hey can you make me a cake?" As if.

But again, my mouth spoke before my brain could catch up and next thing I know, I got 3 emails in my inbox asking for specs on price and style.

Eff me in the A.

I'm no Chef Duff. I'm not Martha Stewart. I'm not even RoseAnn Barr circa 1984. What the hecks am I gonna do?

Crap. The buzzing is back.

Must google soccer cake.

Must google.

Must.

M.....