Friday, September 12, 2008

My literary review.... with SPOILERS

I am a huge reader. Huge as in the size of my ass. Huge as in the size of my personality. Huge as the chip on my shoulder whenever I hear "Like OH MY GAWD I just eat and eat and I can never gain any weight".

Bitches.

Anywho, I read every night before I go to sleep. Its a habit I developed in high school, I seem to remember more of what I read if I do it before bed. Even now, if I need to study something or remember it, I generally read it over before I sleep.
Bitches.

Anywho, a blog that I read did a review of the book "Twilight" by Stefanie Meyer. Her review was informative, well written and it totally made me want to read the book. So I did. It was everything she said and more. I loved it. So much so I went out and got the other 2 books, and preordered the next.

And then I read them. But thats another blog.

Twilight was wonderful. A little bit... how do you say... lovey dovey for my usual taste. Wait, lemme give you a little background.

Twilight is a story about a human, Bella, who meets and falls in love with the resident vampire Edward (and he with her). Edward lives in an uber-mansion, drives an uber-expensive car, is uber-sexy, uber-everything. Bella is the complete opposite. She is clumsy, irrational, moody, and kind of whiny.

I am from the Ann Rice school of vampires and I have a hard time believing that in this world, vampires have skin that sparkles like diamonds in the sunlight. I have a little trouble that a vampire, given enough time, can wean themself off human blood and be satisfied forever and ever and ever with animal blood. Only. Forever. I dont buy it. There is also an Italian Vampire Mafia complete with a don and instead of a restaurant, they have a SWEET ASS set up with tour groups providing the meal in the catacombs under the city. Super cool I know. And did I mention this is considered "young adult"? But alas, it is a very entertaining book, not too heavy and a rather quick read.

So that being said, I figured since I loved my first foray into Meyer's world thru Twilight, I would enjoy her adult book, The Host. I finished this book last night.

And I hate to say it, but I would have rather spent my 25.99 on lighter fluid and a match. This was supposed to be an "adult novel", but I failed to see the adult in it. To me, this was simply Twilight with little wormy aliens instead of vampires.

The Host is about worm-like aliens that fuse to the human spine and take over their bodies. Once the "souls" inhabit a planet, they basically turn it into a utopian society. No pain, no violence, everyone helping everyone else. You get the idea.
Of course there are humans who resent the aliens and go underground, literally. And as you can probably guess, on a routine raid for supplies, one of the militant humans become inhabited by a "soul". Under normal circumstances, the "souls" take over the personality and the human becomes lost. Our militant human however, doesnt give up so easily and there is an internal struggle between the alien and the human. Eventually they learn to "love" each other, and teach all the other militant humans how to live peacefully with the "souls". While not ever printing the "Happily ever after" it is implied in the epilouge.
GAG.
Did anyone else see this coming? 25.99 for this garbage that could have easily been a 1974 episode of Star Trek. No sex. No violence. No blood. What exactly is adult about it? Aside from a little brotherly rivalry there is NOTHING. NOTHING AT ALL. This could be labelled as young adult, even junior high schoolers and it will offend no one.

I will start reading the last installment of the Twilight series tonight called "Breaking Dawn" and being the dork I am, I have already read the reviews. And I read the summaries, the critiques, the spoilers... ya ya I know, and Im worse at Christmas. I am keeping an open mind about it and I will let you know.

2 comments:

befuddled mother said...

I was going to buy the Twilight series for Seth because he LOVES Anne Rices Vampire Chronicles, but when I read the back of the book it seemes a little too "girly" for him... is it more on the girly romance side or worth getting for him?

Vickie said...

If he likes Ann Rice, he will probably NOT like the Twilight series.
If Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen had written vampire books, this would have been it. Get them from the library, save your bucks.
Dont get me wrong, they are entertaining, but NOTHING like Rice's vampires.